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Legends in the Modern Era. |
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 Laurie and Drinking. Laurie was not the fastest drinker, but what he lacked in speed, he made up for in what he drank. It was not unheard of for Laurie to drink a pint of urine, domestic as well as foriegn. The worst pint he drank was one of little Em's urine while she was on her period. This made even the strongest drinker crindge. |
Laurie spent 5 good years with cardiff meds hockey team. During which time he became captain of the hockey team and AU officer of med club. Two of the most memorable assests of the poo master was his ability to drag flick short corners, and shit anywhere on request. The drag flick Laurie scored against UWIC two years ago that secured our second draw with the national standard club, was one of the best. He also delivered goals on a regular basis in NAMS as well as in BUSA. When I first met Laurie, he introduced himself by pissing his trousers. This seemed strange at first, but I soon realised that this was only an introduction. The most memorable time was when he shit out of the minibus. Not too difficult you may think but when the bus is travelling at 70mph down the motorway and someone is shitting out of the side door, it becomes rather an achievment. |
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Ben Gordon Jones. |
 Stupid Quotes. The funniest thing I can remember Ben saying, was when we had just conceeded a goal in an important match. In Ben's mind the gaol had been scored unfairly, so he shouted out as loud as he could "If you were any sort of a sportsman you would own up to that" The other teamed laughed their way back to half-way line and we carried on. What a twat. I'M NOT SAYING BEN WAS CHILDISH, BUT:- Me and Gimp were chatting the other day about what a bad looser Ben was. He would invite us to play golf with him, and make it into a competition where the looser on each hole would have to down a pint. Now Ben was a good golfer, who played of a handicap of 8. Me and gimp were shit. Rather than give us a chance he would take each shot with great importance as if he were in the ryder cup or somthing. Even if we had a faint hope of winning, he would put us off so that he could win. Even on the playsation, he would put on the game he was best at, and choose the strongest side. he would still shout and make fun when he beat you. What a twat. |
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 Alexis (Imp) Alexis was a physiotherapy student, who was joint captain with Dave Gill (Gimp) in 1998-1999 season and played from 1996-1999. Traditionally a right winger, over the years he utilised his pace to, well, basically skin the opposition every time. In my time playing up front with him in 1998-1999, I scored 23 goals and I have to say Alexis set up 99% of those goals. I thought that I was the dogÂ’s bollocks banging in that many goals in my first season playing for the medics, but to put that into perspective Alexis scored 34 goals!!! (over half with his infamous reverse stick sweep). A centre forward being out scored by a winger?!!!!! All I can say is that we formed quite a prolific partnership, but Alexis, I still think you could have passed the ball a bit more. The main memories I have of Alexis are the two games we played against UWIC in the 1998-1999 season. HeÂ’d already tarnished their 100% winning record that season with a last minute equaliser to snatch a 2-2 draw at home. The away game started off as a different story, 3-0 down at half time left us having to dig deep, but combined with LaurieÂ’s top corner flick from a well worked short corner routine, Alexis scored a superb solo effort, before in the dying seconds taking on the entire UWIC defence, drawing the keeper and slotting it to me on the penalty spot to complete the formality to level the score at 3-3. There is also a chap that plays for Bridgend, I forget his name, who even though it has been two years since Alexis departed, still asks if Alexis is playing and usually breaths a huge sigh of relief. I presume he was one of AlexisÂ’s many victims left chasing shadows and cursing the little Imp as he cut inside from the right (usually into the space that I had created of course!!!) before unleashing his trademark reverse sweep high over the keeper 1-0. Oh yeah, there are some other things I remember about him, such as a syringe, a bic biro, 50 ml of vodka and copious amounts of lubrication (no I was not present at the time, but I did see the after affects) and what I can only imagine were exceedingly high levels of boredom. He was unable to strain himself for a good 7-10 days after that event, and missed some good hockey. Oh and one last thing PORN, Alexis liked porn. |
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